Do you feel free to say yes and no?

"Your yes means nothing until you learn to say no" (author unknown).

We've learned that we can be displeased if we say what's in our hearts. So even if our heart says no, we say yes because we do not want to be disapproved. If our relationships are based on pleasing people, these relationships are false and fragile and can be destroyed anytime. The person who is a true friend will give us the freedom to be who we are, accept us the way we are, and respect our position, even if we disagree.

Confusion is established in the message when my heart says no, and my mouth says yes, and there is no integrity in what we are transmitting. God does not dwell during confusion. When we act like that, we push him out of the communication. As Christians, we need to have integrity in our mouths and practice speaking the truth without exaggerating, swearing, and without the obligation to please people.

It’s important to be alert to people trying to manipulate. When we feel intimidated by someone who always makes us say yes, that person harms us because they are trying to control us, taking the place that only belongs to God in our lives. True love casts out all fear. 1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” Pride and arrogance guide a manipulative relationship, not God.

We always seek comfort, and to avoid conflict, we say yes. However, sometimes no is the most noble and respectable thing we can say to someone. We don't respect people who always say yes because, deep down, we know they're lying.

Every time, without exception, I said yes to someone when I should have said no; I regretted it bitterly and had to pay a high price for the consequences of my sin. When the Holy Spirit, our guide, puts a direction in our hearts, we must follow it, or we will disobey God. Matthew 5:37 says: “All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” If our heart says yes, our mouth needs to say yes, and if our heart says no, our mouth needs to say no. When we don’t follow this order, we make room for Satan, who is the father of lies, to enter into our communication.

It's hypocritical to say one thing when you want to say another. It's not just bad for us but also for others. Proverbs 11:9 says, " With their mouths the godless destroy their neighbors, but through knowledge the righteous escape." None of us likes to be deceived.

When we learn to say no, we also know to listen. Why do we get angry and feel affronted when someone says no to us? We must learn to listen to no the same way we listen to yes. People are not obliged to help us and do what we want. They are free to say yes or no to us.

Humility enables us to hear a negative response. If we don't know how to hear no from people, we certainly won't know how to hear no from God. Many people fuss like children when they don't listen to what they want to hear from God, but this attitude alienates us from him. If God says yes to everything we ask for, we would be gods, and he would be our servant. To grow in our Christian life, we can't be spoiled children.

Learning to hear no and say no will result in growth. To say no, we need to make choices and act responsibly. Maturing in our relationship with God and with people is worth it. If we want dignity and respect as human beings, we need to have integrity in our mouths. It is pleasurable to relate to someone we can trust in their words and rest in their yes and no answers. When there is integrity in our speech, God is glorified by our testimony.

If we worship God and say our prayers with our mouths, how can contradiction and fear come out of that same mouth? Can the same fountain gush forth sweet and bitter water? James 3:11 says, “Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?”

And how do we overcome this fear of being ourselves and start telling people exactly what we mean? For our mouths to be whole, our hearts need to be complete. In God, we can achieve this liberation—freedom from ourselves, our pride, our self, and our excess of self.

Beloved, what a wonderful thing it is when we open our mouths and are free to express

what is in our hearts without fear or embarrassment. This is the freedom that Christ gives us. We must be careful not to go around arrogantly and without respect, saying whatever we want. That's a sin; it hurts people. When we speak the truth, we need to tell it in love. Usually, when we are too honest with people, we are not honest with ourselves.

Politicians, society, the media, and Satan are bombarding our generation with the idea that we need to live to please people. Our moral principles and faith must be lived and spoken carefully to avoid offending anyone. If we’re not politically correct, we’re out of the game. As Christians, it’s essential to remember the words of the apostle Paul: We must please God and not men. Galatians 1:10 says, “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” We must stand up, open our mouths, and take a stand by exposing God’s word. We can’t keep quiet and accept everything we hear, lest the noise of political correctness puts a gag on us and we feel intimidated from speaking about Christ.

No more swallowing lies as if they were the truth—no more accepting evil as normal. No more watching society trivialize God's word's ethical and moral principles. It's time to start opening our mouths. Teach our children the difference between right and wrong, sin and its consequences. Stop pleasing our listeners with fanciful promises and preach the cross of Christ and eternity. It's time to stop lying and tell the truth on every level. Our significant change will come with the decision and commitment to say yes when we have to say yes and no when we have to say no.

Thank you very much. How good it is to be together and learn from each other. Leave a comment and share it with your friends. Helia